COFFEE LOVIN'

The morning air filled my nostrils
and the sun rays caressed my skin yet I felt cold inside.
My mind was
restless of thinking of you and my lips sore from calling out your name.
My
heart trembled with desire to see you and my hands ached with wanting to feel
you close.
The days are long and the nights are cold now that you are not
here.
The wind is cruel and takes pleasure in the rain as I watch from my
bedroom window.
How my soul will fill with joy if you came again. How my
anger will soften if you sizzled into my ears again.
How I will breathe once more if you
kissed my lips with your warmness again………
How I wish my boyfriend will hurry
up and bring my damn morning coffee
already.

DIEING TO LIVE

Life is difficult and sometimes painful and worthless, in your life you go through a lot of things and the negative experiences are the ones that last. If you compare notes with other people you will realize that life experiences are similar with small important differences. These small differences are ignorable but are what makes each person an individual. In that case life is a script, same script different casts. I wonder why people want to live when they die or are dieing? How many times have you said this is worse than death? I wish the ground could swallow me whole? Huh?
I think my writings are somewhat of a deep thought, writing situations that people go through that I have no idea about. Okay that is not entirely true I don’t experience physically but understand emotionally. I just try to attach a valid believable reason to situations.
Many people say that the dead wish they were alive, maybe because that right to live was taken away from them or it expired without notice. I f someone died and went to hell, he would wish to live for one more minute to set things right. If someone died and went to heaven, he would wish to live another day to finish his work on earth or to enjoy the love of his family and friends.
A person involved in a fatal accident, like a woman sitting in a plane that is about to crash or a man on death row or a person dying of a terminal illness normally have their lives flash before them. It is not the dramatic flash but it happens depending on the amount of time you have. The less time you have, the less flashes you get and the more time the more flashes. You wake up one morning and you remember the little girl you bullied when you were 5 years old and you rush to make peace. Now if you have a near death experience and you don’t get a flash don’t panic. Sometimes you don’t get flashes and there those who when they are dying will have only one thing in their mind, whatever that maybe, i mean it could i wish i ate.
People who have little time to live always say I wish I had more time and by spending time wishing they are actually wasting the little time they have feeling denied but then again it is hard to live knowing when you are going to die. Why are humans programmed to fear the end, an end, any end? To tell you the truth, I think it is because humans realize that there is no end. That is, when one thing ends another begins and you never know if its going to be good and short or bad and long. Forever does not sound sexy and sweet for you love birds when you realize just how long forever is. I also think it’s because you realize that you are alone, in life and in death. A Christian would say that you wouldn’t feel this way if you had Christ.......Christians!!!
When you are not faced by a major problem the minor ones are magnified i.e. all of a sudden your life is unbearable because your clothes are not as fashionable as your friend but when you are dying or are dead you won’t even notice. I guess it is hard to appreciate the little things on a normal day, like if a car splashes water on you on a rainy day, at least it didn’t run you over.
95% of us do not know what life is. Most of us do not know what living is all about. Many of us will die without knowing and regret will eat away at our heart the way wounds eat away at our flesh but do not fear I just might join you.
I don’t understand any of this, or maybe I do. I mean don’t they say that humans use only a certain fraction of their brain. The Bible says that if you try and save your life then you will lose it and if you lose it then you will save it. I think you can’t agree with this unless your life has a purpose bigger than yourself or you realize that your life is temporary and given. So for the many of you who won’t take this piece of holy advice, someone else also said that you only begin to live after you have survived death and this guy just happened to be a serial killer.
The media gives us a certain image of how life is meant to be and yes a good life is meant to be a certain way and feel a certain way and when it is right you will know because it will feel right for you.

DREAMING.

          Every girls dream is similar. She wants the latest fashion, an adoring crowd of men and eventually love and a picket fenced life. Am sorry in that case every modern’s girl dream is alike (a village girl may be less interested in the latest fashion). You can see it in their eyes; when another woman passes before them looking hot, the green eyed monster appears, when her best friend is in the honeymoon stage of her relationship the shinny star shines ever so brightly in the corner of her eye, when it appears that some Chiquita is at the prime of her life and nothing seems to go wrong on her side of the garden you can see the depressed look in her eye that says why me.

          Yes every modern girl’s dream is the same. Why then are there different outcomes. We would like to think that it’s because the Lord wanted variety. Yes although this is true there is still another theory. We change. It is very difficult to understand this since you do not see how you change because your dream remains the same and your desire never left you but…… we change. It is never our fault most of the time. You grow up and you try and surround yourself with things that make you happy that define you but the world will throw you a curve ball and you won’t be ready and you will change without realizing.
           Sometimes life becomes hard and the desire you had to look your best disappears with your new desire to make ends meet. Other times the sun seems to have changed color. The sun that used to shine yellow and warm you to thinking that everything will be okey turns and life becomes meaningless.
           ‘It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.’ That is the saying that is supposed to motivate us all to jump into the pool called love. The lucky ones jumped into this very pool and found what they were looking for, got content and forgot all about their dreams. The other jumped into the same pool and found sharks in the water and the bitterness they experienced caused them to change their dreams in a different direction.
           You are probably trying to figure out if you changed course. If you did not, good for you, although it would be wise of me to inform you that everyone’s course changes. If yours changed for the better am glad for you and envious. If yours changed and you think it’s good when its not, you have been seriously short-changed. If yours changed for the worse and you feel lazy or tired or unmotivated to get up and do something about it I have two words for you………tick, tock.
          Take the bitter with the sweet.
          Yours sincerely
      XOXO