WHITE MAN FEVER

I want a white man, not just any white man but a good looking white man with any colored eyes except black. I don't want to marry him.  If I was to end up marrying a white guy, I guess I would be okay with that but I know for a fact that I really don't want to live permanently anywhere else apart from home.

I know exactly what am looking for-contrast. I can understand why centuries ago people had a hard time accepting their differences even though we were both sure that we were all human. Some of it was just pure hatred and am not talking about that, I'm just talking about our differences that we should appreciate but really have a hard time getting past.

So opposites attract. There is a fascination with something that you are not used to, somthing that isn't like you. I'm not sure i'm making sense yet it seems so blurry clear in my head.

I like the fact that our skin colors are different. I like/hate the fact that they have different colored eyes and we don't. Our hair textures are different which I also like/hate. I feel like we think differently, reason differently and that is what I want. I want to experience a clash of cultures. I particularly want the intimate clash of cultures, to be with someone who is particularly that different from me. I really want to mentally file the sensuality of those differences.

blue eyes

It is funny how I don't have the same fascination with Asians. There is nothing wrong with them, am just not that curious. Now they feel as though they come from a different planet. I am not trying to be racist, infact I will have you know that I have no problems with any race. Have you ever talked to someone and just feel like you are not speaking the same language even if you are and its like you can't really say what you want to say because you are afarid they won't understand? That is how I feel when I talk to Asians but then again that is how I feel when I talking to my parents and their generation.

You might think I am weird and maybe I am. What I am sure about is that I am a sensuous person. I get high on using my senses, especially when it feels good. I like how icecream feels when it glides down my throat. I like how new born babies smell. I like how the morning sun caresses my skin when I step outside after being inside for a long ltime. I like how eternal a beautiful flowered tree looks like. I can go on and on.

Ofcourse I am also attracted to black dudes but it is different. I am not sure it is possible to explain but because we are the same, well sort of, I get attracted to other differences, the usual differences that attract women.

What if my white man fever is just because of how they are painted to appear on T.V? It is possible. What am I saying...it is definetely a contributing factor. Too bad, I still want.