Just not that into you...

"Hi L, what's up?"

"Hi, am good, you?" Avoiding eye contact. Looking to my right then my left. Stretching. Trying to appear bored with life or tired. Fidgeting with my phone-sending an imaginary message.Fake smile. "So are you good, exams ziko karibu, are you ready?" Briefly maintaining eye contact. Trying to look interested in the answer.

"Argh! I hate exams lakini niko poa. You are always busy when I see you, sometime you should slow down."

"Mmh." fake smile (no teeth). "I'll try."

"You know I like you." Trying to look deep into my eyes.

Fake smile, "Ai!! lets not start this." Looking away. "Aren't you tired of telling me stuff like that." Looking at him seriously. Raising my right eyebrow.

"No, and I will keep saying it until you accept. Si you give a man a chance? I"ll keep saying it. All am asking for is a chance to be with you."

"Ai!!" Pretending to lenga that vibe, no, actually lengaring that vibe. I look at this man standing before me and wonder if he thinks am a fool or that I live in a tunnel and don't know that he has an on and off girlfriend. 

"Hauna kazi ya kufanya?"

"Niko nayo lakini si mob."

"Mmh." I have a lot of work (lie) I don't even know if I will ever finish (exaggeration). "Si you go so that I can work." He throws me an annoyed look. "Don't look at me like that, you know that I won't do anything if I let you stay here with me." Mentally, rolling my eyes. "Enda," pretending to be playful.

As I watch this man...boy walking away I think to myself, 'God I wish I never met you...at all.' He probably is a good guy...(i really don't think so) but he isn't my type. I can't even imagine myself his woman, no, really, I can't fathom that image. There are men you are attracted to and are bad for you, and there are those who you aren't attracted to but given the chance you can see yourself with them and there are those who you aren't attracted to and can't imagine yourself with. I can imagine him a friend...a long distance friend.

I busy myself trying to minimize the immense irritation that he makes me feel. Guys have that annoying habit; shooting their arrows without a bulls eye. It's so freaking annoying. Think of it, so what if things work out, what if the girl ends up liking you and wanting to see where it goes, what then? If I liked a guy and it turns out he was just holding his arms out hoping to catch something...anything and then I landed and he acts like that was the plan, I'll ditch him. As I picture this scenario, am thinking of another dude in place of this guy because it can never be a dream let alone reality.