I WOULD LIKE TO BELIEVE THAT THERE IS A HIGHER POWER.

I would like to believe that there is a higher power. Someone who can see my future and my past and whisper into my ear what I should do in my present so as to prepare for my future and not repeat my past. When I was in high school, my father told me to take business studies and my mother told me to take home science. I liked both subjects but I ended up taking business studies. I regret. I got a C final grade which to me I really worked for. At the beginning I wish someone told me that I wasn't any good in business. They would have  saved me a lot of self doubt. At the beginning I also wish someone would have told me that I would have no use for the subject because the knowledge is just withering away in my head. Now, I can hardly remember whatever it is I learned. Home science is like art, you learn skills that you can do for fun and find a way to earn some money from it, so yes, I wish I chose home science. But you know business studies sounds like medicine against teaching-home science.

There are so many things out of my control that it would be nice to know that someone/something out there has all the control and power that I have been denied and that they are working in my favor. I hate not knowing what is coming next and I hate the powerless feeling of knowing that there is really nothing that I can do to help myself in some situations.

There are so many times in my life when I feel like I have no idea what I am doing and it is so comforting to think that as I walk on this earth chancing there is someone up in the clouds making sure am chancing on the right path.

It is funny though how the world was built. You come into the world with nothing, then you spend half of you life learning life skills and the other half trying to understand them, applying them and enjoying the fruits of your labor at the same time, then you die and take with you almost all of your experiences, then another child is born and they start all over again.

I particularly wish that there is a God when it comes to relationships between men and women. I can mess up with friendship because it does not phase me much. But when it comes to picking someone to spend the rest of my life with, there is just so much pressure. I can end up finding myself spending the rest of my life being friends with someone and still there would not be as much pressure as a spouse.

I am surrounded by sad, depressing, shocking stories of relationships gone sour and I just fear. I feel as though, if life is really short then we have no time for bad experiences. Besides as you come together the world tries to tear you guys apart now if you are trying to tear each other apart how are you meant to survive?

My main problem is that I find it hard to plan for my future in this sector. I comfort myself by saying that God is planing for me and that he is so flexible that if I don't like what he plans I can tell Him and He will change it. That is what helps me sleep at night.